Out of character - great work by Clay in juggling four so very different characters.  The early sessions are always the hardest for the GM because the players really haven't become a unit.  So nicely done, it was free form and for the most part, light and fun.

In character - It is difficult to accept my new role.  While I am certain that I was an instrument for good this past weekend, I cannot ignore that I did much harm while achieving that good.

In the balance; saving a teen from abduction at the expense of delivering a near fatal beating to a Thug who meant to do harm, will not trouble my soul overly much.  I can go to confession knowing that my sin of using excessive force will be absolved because it was necessary to be fast and sure while in the face of two much larger enemies.

By the same token, my concience feels secure in knowing that my shooting of the mercenary was necessary.  He and his compatriot fired at us, hitting a member of our group.  And they surely meant to murder every witness on that hill side.  So his death was necessary and right, given the situation.

However, I am uncomfortable with the attitude of intimidation that I chose to adopt on many occasions.  Yes we were dealing with hostile individuals whose selfish needs had lead them to commit many crimes.  But I am no longer in prison and it is not my place to judge those that I encounter, or to serve as the instrument for their repentence.  In the future, I will have to work harder to not resort to such dark behavior and trust that other less sinful avenues will present themselves.

And it is this thought that brings me to what troubles me most- taking the life of the helicopter pilot.  I can argue with my concience and any who would listen that the assymetry in manuever capabilities on the battlefield left my team vulnerable to more attacks and that the only safe course was to eliminate their entire team and take away both their mobility advantage and their ability to communicate to their higher command.

But I am not on the battlefield any longer and not all parties are combatants.  I could have tried to force his surrender, or simply allowed him to leave.  Such an action would have jeapardized our team, and would have certainly put Robertson's survival at greater risk.  But I am at fault for not at least making an effort to find a non-lethal solution to the situation.  This is something that I will have to think on long, and I fully expect that I will require much penence before I earn absolution.

My new life is far more complicated than my old life.  My lesson from this first job is simple: It is not enough to succeed in the work to do good, I must also pay serious attention to the manner in which I acheive that success.